


No Strings Attached

by LadyCosmos



Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, friends with benefits relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-26
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-09 02:46:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3233375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyCosmos/pseuds/LadyCosmos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having a difficult time dealing with their feelings for their best friends, Sousuke and Makoto use their acquaintance with each other as a release.  But things don't work the way they want.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Time

**Author's Note:**

> This story will have both SouMako and HaruMako. The actual physical HaruMako will come at the very end so if SouMako is not your thing, wait until the fourth chapter. I had a strong need to write Makoto being fucked into a wall by someone bigger than him and the pleasing aesthetic of SouMako begged me to write this. The story is about no strings attached relationships which means sex with no feelings. So no, Sousuke and Makoto hold no romantic feelings towards each other in this story.

The first time Makoto realized something was wrong, he had woken up in the middle of the night from some half-forgotten dream that had left him hard and wanting. In his mind, he could see clear blue eyes staring at him, traveling down every line of his body as he revealed himself to a familiar figure. Hair the color of a night storm and lips that shamed the most beautiful geisha. Not fully awake, Makoto reached down and finished himself off, thinking of those lips wrapped around his erection, his fingers tugging on soft hair as he guided that mouth in a fast, hard rhythm.

Crying his best friend’s name, Makoto lay on his sheets feeling elated and ashamed.

The second time Makoto knew something was wrong was after Haru had entered his room in only a towel, still wet from his bath, asking if he had left any spare clothes from his last visit. Suddenly hot and completely tuned in to Haru’s every move and sound, Makoto had stuttered that he hadn’t but was free to use anything Makoto had. With a soft grunt that was more sexual than it had any right to be, Haru opened Makoto’s drawers and casually pulled out a shirt and underwear before leaving.

Shaking, Makoto carefully closed his books, put his pencils on his desk, and walked out onto his balcony. His grip on the railing was painful; his body was flashing from fire to ice, his legs weak beneath him. Taking in a deep breath of the warm night air, Makoto decided he had better pull out the guest futon. And maybe set it up in the living room. Because he might be up late studying, he assured himself as he watched Haru pad into the kitchen, Makoto’s shirt almost falling flirtatiously off his shoulder.

It had nothing at all to do with the fact that Makoto was suddenly scared of himself around his best friend.

The final time Makoto accepted that his feelings for Haru were no longer platonic was after his first big race. Watching Haru push himself to his limits, battling it out for first with Rin in their heat and emerging triumphant, Makoto knew he had fallen in love with his friend. But as Haru pulled himself out of the water, crouched on the edge of the pool for just a moment before lithely strolling back to the lockers with their friend, Makoto knew it was more than just love. He _wanted_ Haru in a way that scared him. He wanted Haru to look at him as he did water; he wanted Haru to dive into him and accept him and know him in a way that was deeper than any connection he held with water.

It frightened him and excited him and that night, without the aid of half-remembered dreams, Makoto jerked off to images his mind created of Haru on his knees. Licking his lips, he imaged Haru staring up at him through those thick lashes, graceful fingers trailing down his stomach and gripping his hips as he opened his mouth. He imaged Haru’s tongue darting out and licking along his slit before warm breath engulfed him and an amazing wet heat surrounded his dick. He imaged the way he would arch into Haru’s mouth, releasing his load as Haru eagerly received all of it, sucking away the last remaining drop before standing to kiss him.

Ashamed but sated, Makoto curled beneath his blankets and tried to find sleep.

+++

His second semester of school started off much like the first. New classes and new faces; a new schedule with new professors. He’d have to work out times to visit Haru since his classes were now later but maybe that was a good thing. Shifting uncomfortably in his seat, Makoto tried to remember when the last time he had seen Haru alone was. If he were honest, it was probably before his acceptance of his very inappropriate feelings for his friend.

Sighing in frustration and regret, Makoto tried to take down what his professor was telling them about the course load to come but he just couldn’t concentrate.

“Is this seat taken?” A deep voice asked as a bag was set down next to him.

“Hmmm? Ah, no it’s not. Please go-“ Makoto finally looked up from his notebook to find himself staring into a very familiar set of blue eyes. Eyes that lit with recognition at the same instant as Makoto’s. “Yamazaki-kun.”

“Tachibana.” Sousuke spoke as he sat down, pulling out a notebook and pencil. “Looks like we’ll be classmates this year.”

Makoto smiled happily. “Yes!”

+++

Sousuke was surprisingly easy to get along with. It surprised Makoto to find out they shared similar dreams but while he wanted to coach kids and teach them to love swimming, Sousuke wanted to push people to their best and help them reach their goals.

“To help Rin.” Makoto guessed over lunch, carefully maneuvering through the lunch room crowd to find an empty seat. Sousuke chuckled as he sat across from Makoto and dipped his croquette in tonkatsu sauce.

“Yeah, like Rin.” The way Sousuke said Rin’s name, Makoto was sure there was something going on that was similar to his feelings for Haru. Not wanting to pry, Makoto decided to try for a more indirect approach.

“Speaking of Rin, have you kept in touch? Haru raced him last month and said he was doing well. His Japanese has a strange accent now.” The soft smile on Sousuke’s face confirmed Makoto’s instincts.

“Yeah, we keep in touch. Sort of. He’s busy and so am I. He’s waiting for me to join him again but I don’t think it’ll be as he’s expecting.” There was a bitter tint to Sousuke’s voice as he tapped his glass with one finger. “But it’s better than giving up completely, isn’t it?”

Makoto smiled warmly thinking that there was more similarities between them than he had imagined. His phone vibrated in his pocket alerting him to a new text. Haru, he was certain. Probably wondering why Makoto hadn’t texted him yet. Feeling slightly guilty, Makoto ignored the text as he continued chatting with Sousuke.

Haru’s next race was in a week; he would be out of the country for over a week and Makoto hadn’t seen him for a few days. It wasn’t that Makoto was avoiding him, far from it! But he also hadn’t been going out of his way to make time for Haru either.

Pushing his noodles around, Makoto heard himself speaking before his brain had processed his thought. “Yamazaki-kun, do you want to watch Rin’s race with me next week?”

+++

It was strange having someone besides Haru in his apartment. The space felt a lot smaller and more intimate with someone the size of Sousuke next to him. Suddenly, he was intensely aware of how big he was and how small Haru was and how small his couch really was. Rather intimately close to Sousuke, Makoto placed his drink on the table and tried to relax.

“Haru’s been getting frustrated with his swimming lately. He says that the water doesn’t feel the same sometimes and it makes it difficult to swim freely.” Makoto laughed at Sousuke’s skeptical snort. “That’s how he’s always been. Haru likes to be a part of the water, accepted by it. I don’t really understand it that well myself.”

His words trailed off as the camera followed the line of swimmers to their marks. Rin and Haru were separated by one lane this time but Makoto could tell they were aware of each other at all times. He shifted restlessly next to Sousuke, brushing his leg occasionally. If it bothered the other man, he didn’t show any sign. Instead, he was as focused on the television as Makoto.

The whistle blew the swimmers to their marks. Makoto and Sousuke held their breaths.

The world froze for a split second as the swimmers tensed, anticipating their release. Makoto could feel Sousuke tense next to him, his muscle memory taking over as they waited. His body vibrated with a mixture of expectation and need as he watched Haru’s body tense and arch.

The buzzer shattered the moment and Makoto felt the air rush out of his body as Haru released and dove into the water, as beautiful as he remembered.

His body reacted to the way Haru swam, remembering the feel of those hands against his, remembering waking up some nights to Haru’s face pressed against his neck. Makoto shifted uncomfortably as he watched with longing the way Haru’s fingers cut into the water and propelled him forward. What would it feel like to have that intensity directed towards him? To have Haru use those fingers to open him as he did the water? He shivered.

As the race ended and the camera panned to the next group of swimmers, an odd tension filled the apartment. Clearly his throat, Makoto picked up their glasses and headed to the kitchen.

“I’ll-I’ll just get some more drinks. Is that okay? I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner. Haha. I mean…” At a loss and desperately needing to get off, Makoto gripped the counter in his kitchen. An electric shock shot down his back when he felt Sousuke behind him.

“You’re the same way, huh?” His breath was warm and smelled of the melon soda they had been drinking. Makoto shivered and unconsciously arched back into Sousuke.

“Mmm.” He felt so weak and tired; his mind worn down after too many sleepless nights, afraid of dreaming of blue eyes and perfect lips. His body, however, was wired and willing; fire ignited on his skin where Sousuke’s fingers gently wrapped around his wrist.

“You want him, like I want Rin.” There was a bitter laugh against his ear and Makoto gasped. His body betrayed him, his hips pushed back into Sousuke’s as he gripped the counter tighter. “You love him like I love Rin. But neither of us can have them, right?”

“Yamazaki-ku-“ A light nip on his neck cut him off. Whimpering softly, Makoto leaned back into Sousuke’s chest, his hand reaching up to tangle in his thick, dark hair. _Not soft like Haru’s_ , he thought absently.

“It hurts, sometimes. Thinking of Rin in Australia and not being able to see him.” A hand larger than his own traveled up Makoto’s hips and beneath his shirt. His breathing hitched as fingernails scratched against his stomach and dipped beneath the hem of his jeans.

 _This is wrong_ , he thought wildly, trying to pull himself together. _This isn’t Haru. This isn’t what I want._

But what he wanted…he couldn’t have, could he?

Sousuke’s lips were hot against his neck. His chest was broad and hard and made Makoto feel small and protected. It was nice, he mused, to have someone take control for once.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Tachibana.” Sousuke murmured against his shoulder. “I don’t have any feelings for you but…”

“But we can’t have what we want. So why not find relief in each other?” Makoto finished shakily, his legs feeling weak. Turning around, Makoto stared into Sousuke’s eye and found his own feelings mirrored back at him. “No-no kissing.”

With a bark of laughter, Sousuke pressed Makoto against the counter, forcing him to lean back slightly. His hands were cool against Makoto’s skin as he dragged Makoto’s shirt over his head.

“All right. No kissing. Just sex.” The way Sousuke drawled out the word _sex_ made Makoto shiver.

They didn’t bother with foreplay; there was no need as Makoto’s mind was still reeling with fresh imagery of Haru swimming, Haru dripping with water, Haru bending over before he dove into the water. He cried in pleasure as Sousuke’s hand wrapped around his erection, his own fingers working frantically at the other man’s pants.

As his fingers grazed Sousuke’s dick, he felt a growl vibrate through his body and suddenly, he was bent over the counter. The breath was knocked from his as he blinked in surprise. His pants were pulled down to his ankles and suddenly, he felt something thick and hot against his ass. His body clenched in surprise.

“Yama-Yamazaki-“ Teeth nipped along his shoulders and neck, fingers massaged his hips and ass as his erection rubbed painfully against the cold counter.

“Have you done this before, Tachibana?” Makoto could only shake his head, not trusting his voice at the moment. He heard the cabinets open and close above him and lifted his head to see what Sousuke was doing. “Cooking oil.”

Weakly, Makoto pointed to the cabinet near the end of the kitchen. Adjusting himself as Sousuke moved to grab the bottle, Makoto wondered what he was getting himself into. He didn’t have to wait long to find out as Sousuke found the oil and quickly returned, sliding his pants down his thighs as he opened the bottle.

“You sure you’re okay with this?” Sousuke asked once more as the oil dribbled into his palm. Placing the bottle onto the counter, Sousuke generously coated his fingers in the oil before reaching down to slide them up Makoto’s ass.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Makoto tried to think past the haze clouding his mind. His body reacted on its own, pushing back into Sousuke’s fingers as his dick throbbed for relief. With a shaky nod, Makoto let his body relax as Sousuke’s fingers traced up his ass again.

He was just starting to get use to the sensation when he felt a sharp pain and a stretch. Biting his lip, Makoto glanced back over his shoulder and watched as Sousuke licked his lips. There was a dark tint to Sousuke’s eyes that made Makoto groan. Embarrassed, he hid his face in his arms and tried to breathe.

The pain subsided only to come back more intensely a second later. Focusing on his breathing, Makoto imagined what it would feel like with Haru’s fingers. Long, lithe fingers that were used to cutting through water stretching him open, prepping him for something bigger. The image made his body hot, his stomach clench in a familiar desire.

Suddenly, Sousuke’s fingers left him and Makoto felt strangely empty. It was an odd sensation, having something inside of you. But he found he had rather enjoyed it. He really enjoyed it. So when something much larger than fingers pressed against his entrance, Makoto had to bite his lips to keep from groaning in desire.

“Relax.” Sousuke commanded, oil-slicked hands rubbing Makoto’s back. “It’s going to hurt.”

Curiosity peeked, Makoto tried to twist to look behind him.

“How do you know so—ahhhh!” His question was silenced when Sousuke pushed forward and Makoto felt himself stretch in a way that didn’t feel right. “AHHHH!”

“Breathe, Tachibana.” The command came again and Makoto sucked in a breath. Then another and another until his body gradually relaxed. Finally, once Sousuke was seated inside of him, Makoto felt his body start to loosen. His fists slowly unclenched and the tears stopped stinging his eyes. After another minute, Makoto adjusted himself against the counter and _god_ did that feel good.

Panting, Makoto pushed backwards again and heard Sousuke growl, his fingers digging into Makoto’s hips. Pinned into place, Makoto could do nothing but wait for Sousuke to move and it felt like an eternity before he did. But when he did, _oh god_ when he moved it felt good.

Makoto knew he wouldn’t last long. He was already dancing dangerously close to the edge and he was sure Sousuke wasn’t far behind. But it felt too good to end so fast. Sousuke was hard and the pain was pleasurable in a strange way that made Makoto question himself. He wanted more. He wanted Sousuke to thrust into him hard, deep. He wanted to be taken.

“Yama-Yamazaki! Harder. Do it harder.” Makoto panted into the counter. Sousuke paused for a moment, nearly withdrawn all the way. Then, without warning, he slammed into Makoto.

Makoto’s back arched as he cried in pleasure and pain, his fingers scrambling for purchase against the slick counter top. Again and again and again, Sousuke thrust into him, harder and deeper than the thrust before. For one glorious moment, Makoto hung on the edge of release, his senses heightened before he crashed over the brink and into darkness.

When he came to, Sousuke was pulling out of him, a satisfied smile on his face. Too tired and weak to move, Makoto lay against the counter and watched as Sousuke cleaned himself up before returning with a warm, wet rag to clean Makoto up as well. With an awkward laugh, Makoto propped himself up on shaky arms to glance at Sousuke.

“Is this a one time thing or…” He let the question hang in the air. Sousuke simply smirked before pulling up his pants and heading for the door.

“We’ll see.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who left comments. I really appreciate it and I'm glad you enjoy this idea as much as I did. We can be friends in our debauchery.
> 
> Life has been pretty aggressive lately and I haven't had as much time as I would like to write or participate in fandom. So if the last chapters come out slowly, I apologize.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys reading this meaningless smut story.

The rest of the week went by surprisingly quick and didn’t give Makoto a chance to dwell on what had happened. Not only that, but he found that even when Sousuke was sitting right next to him, talking to him and staring at him with that intense gaze, Makoto didn’t feel embarrassed. He thought he should; he thought he wouldn’t be able to look Sousuke in the eye or be able to have a conversation without blushing or stammering. But their friendship, if that’s what they had now, formed easily and without any discussion on what had happened or what it meant.

Maybe that should have scared Makoto more. To be able to be intimate with someone and not have it mean anything. But he had and it hadn’t. And he knew Sousuke felt the same way. Neither of them were expecting anything to come out of what had happened. And the knowledge that it might – and most probably would – happen again didn’t bother Makoto at all.

He hadn’t mentioned anything to Haru. There was no way he was going to tell the person he was in love with that he had started a “no string attached” relationship with someone. Especially when that someone was Sousuke.

It felt strange, keeping something like that from his best friend. It felt wrong and dirty; even worse than the act itself had made him feel. But although Makoto felt certain Haru didn’t harbor the same sort of feelings for him, he wasn’t ready to give up that small sliver of hope that lit itself on fire whenever Haru watched him out of the corner of his eye. Or whenever Haru came over uninvited, letting himself in with his spare key and made Makoto dinner. Or whenever Haru’s arm brushed his as they walked down the crowded city streets and Makoto could feel those slim fingers dance over his.

It was the little things that Haru did to him, for him, that made it difficult to let go.

So it was after one long afternoon spent with Haru at the pool that Makoto found himself texting Sousuke to come over. His finger hovered over the keys as he second guessed himself. Should he be straightforward and tell Sousuke he needed a good fuck? Should he be coy about it and lead Sousuke on?   How do you tell someone that you need help forgetting about the person you love?

_> Want to come over to study?<_

Makoto hit send and tossed his phone onto his bed. Mentally berating himself for sounding so lame - _he was a grown man who should clearly be capable of asking someone for sex_ – Makoto covered his face in shame.

He jumped in surprise when his phone rang barely a minute later.

_> Ok.<_

That was it. That was all Makoto was given to figure out if Sousuke knew what he truly wanted. Sighing in frustration, Makoto headed to the kitchen to make sure he had some food. Even if he did just need relief, it would be bad manners not to have a snack available for a guest.

+++

The knock on the door sent Makoto’s heart racing. His palms felt cold and an ice cold shiver raked his body. Biting his lip, he rubbed his hands on his pants before reaching for the door.

“Sorry! Just a moment!” And then before him stood Sousuke, his arm raised slightly holding up a plastic bag.

“Yo.” Makoto blushed as he stepped to the side.

“Ah, Yamazaki-kun. Come in. Sorry to keep you waiting.”

As Sousuke stepped inside, Makoto watched him carefully. He seemed at ease as he took off his shoes, hiking his bag up his shoulder before it slid off. Makoto’s eyes followed those fingers as they wrapped around the bag strap, remembering the way they felt on him, in him. He shivered as he shut the door and turned to smile at his guest.

“I brought some drinks.” Sousuke motioned to the bag he had placed on the counter. Curious, Makoto looked inside and found an ample selection of beers and alcohols inside. Swallowing thickly, he turned a cautious look towards Sousuke. With a shrug, Sousuke moved deeper into the apartment. “This isn’t really about studying, is it?”

With a relieved laugh, Makoto grabbed two glasses and brought the bag with him.

 _We’ll see_ definitely happened sooner than he thought.

+++

“Ah!” Makoto groaned as he slumped against his couch. Chuckling, Sousuke took a large gulp of his drink before refilling both of their glasses. “Living alone is a lot harder than I thought. I still can’t cook and Haru always comes over because he’s afraid I’ll poison myself or burn down the apartment.”

“He’s just worried about you.” Sousuke replied behind his glass, his eyes a little glassy and unable to focus on anything except Makoto. Swallowing thickly, Makoto reached for his glass and snorted into it.

“I know. Which just makes it worse. It’s nice to see him and have him around so much but…” He trailed off forlornly. A heavy silence hung in the living room as the two men stared thoughtfully into their drinks and at each other. It was too easy, Makoto thought, being with Sousuke like this. Licking his lips, Makoto let his eyes trail down the folds of Sousuke’s shirt, taking in how they clung to his body. He wasn’t like Haru at all but there was something undeniably sensual about him.

Sousuke caught his gaze, holding him with a smoldering look of his own and Makoto felt his insides turn to liquid fire. Not like Haru at all, but still good.

“Rin hasn’t…he’s asked about Samezuka and told me about his training regimen but…” Trailing off, Sousuke ran a hand through his hair and stared at Makoto’s neck.

“Yamazaki-kun.” Makoto’s voice was low, soft. His body leaned forward naturally as he traced Sousuke’s lips and neck with his eyes. He bit his lip gently as Sousuke mimicked his movements, their faces inches apart. He felt Sousuke’s breath against his cheek before Sousuke ducked his head and bit at the skin behind his ear.

Gasping, Makoto tumbled to the floor, his hands wrapping in Sousuke’s shirt and pulling him along. They landed with a grunt and Sousuke’s mouth moved slowly down Makoto’s neck. It was a cold heat, all suction and teeth and brutal. Makoto could already feel a bruise forming on his skin but his mind was too fuzzy to care. His body felt weightless and out of his control as he slipped his hands up Sousuke’s shirt, his fingers tracing the outline of Sousuke’s back muscles as they pulled his shirt off. Hissing softly, Sousuke raised his arms over his head.

“Sorry.” Makoto mumbled against Sousuke’s shoulder. His lips grazed over the taut skin, following the line of Sousuke’s clavicle before moving up his neck. Makoto could feel the vibrations as Sousuke hummed through his lips and smiled. Lazily, he ran his fingers up and down Sousuke’s back, letting his fingernails graze along the skin as if he were petting a cat. He was rewarded when Sousuke arched his back, groaning, and buried his face against Makoto’s neck.

As strong arms wrapped around him, Makoto took the opportunity to roll his hips against Sousuke’s and elicit a growl from the man. Encouraged, Makoto rolled his hips again and bit at Sousuke’s neck. His hands slid down Sousuke’s side and caught on the hem of his jeans. He fumbled slightly against the fabric, deciding if he wanted to try taking it off or to feel more of Sousuke’s chest and skin against him. He felt crazed; there wasn’t enough contact and he desperately needed more.

The decision was taken out of his hands as Sousuke grabbed his wrists and pinned his hands with one hand above his head.

“Not so fast this time.” The words burned against his neck and he tried to move to capture Sousuke’s lips. “No kissing.”

Nearly whining, Makoto bucked against Sousuke again and grinned when he growled in response. When Sousuke grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his arms, a thrill of excitement ran through his body. He craved contact, touch. He wanted to feel Sousuke’s fingers digging into his skin and leaving marks. He wanted those lips against his skin, trailing a hot wet path down his stomach and to his dick. He wanted a cool tongue to paint the curve of his hips and blue, blue eyes to watch his face as he was sucked.

Biting Sousuke’s arm, Makoto moaned as one hand traveled lightly down his chest, pinching a nipple as it was passed over. Pain tinged pleasure surged through Makoto’s body and made him jerk in response. He could feel Sousuke’s muscles shift as he moved over Makoto’s body. It was amazing the way his shoulders bunched, the skin tightening across his back as he pushed himself up on his arms. Makoto wanted to bite him, leave marks on his back and make those muscles move underneath his mouth.

Pushing himself against the floor, Makoto tried to grab Sousuke and roll them but Sousuke proved to be a lot heavier and sturdier than Makoto imagined. He’d become so used to being the tallest and strongest out of their group that Makoto was suddenly at a loss when he found he couldn’t overpower Sousuke. His body trembled, his dick jumped as images raced through his mind. Sousuke chuckled against his stomach.

“Figured it out, huh?” His teeth nipped and grazed along Makoto’s sides. When his tongue slid between Makoto’s boxers and his groin, Makoto felt as though liquid heat had been poured over his erection. He groaned and slid his fingers through Sousuke’s hair, relishing the purr that he got in return. “I’m in control, Tachibana. You’re going to do what I want.”

Crying wantonly, Makoto nodded into the floor, pushing his hips up so Sousuke would touch him. Do something to give him pleasure. Instead, Sousuke stood up and unbuckled his pants, slowly pushing them past his hips. Makoto watched, eyes glazed in lust, as his erection sprang free and Sousuke thumbed the head.

Roughly, Sousuke grabbed Makoto’s hair and pulled him into a kneeling position. Hissing in pain, Makoto followed and placed his hands against Sousuke’s legs for balance. One large hand cupped the side of his face, fingers playing with the bit of hair behind Makoto’s ear; Makoto sighed into Sousuke’s palm and nipped at his wrist. As that hand slid around to the back of his head, Makoto held his breath and watched Sousuke’s face, wondering if Haru’s eyes would have that same dangerous, dark look to them.

“I want to watch you suck me.” Sousuke spoke so calmly that it was only by the way his dick twitched when Makoto’s tongue flicked out to lick it that Makoto knew how badly he wanted this.

Awkwardly, Makoto wrapped his lips around the tip of Sousuke’s dick, reflexively swallowing as he tried to take a little more in. The way Sousuke moaned and his fingers tightened in Makoto’s hair let him know he had done something right. Carefully, Makoto tested how much of Sousuke’s erection he could take in his mouth before he gagged.

It felt sloppy and really wet.   Occasionally, Makoto had to pull away and lick up some of the saliva that had gathered around his mouth as well as along Sousuke. But that seemed to be just as good as when Makoto hollowed his cheeks and sucked Sousuke as hard as he could. Curious, Makoto allowed his teeth to graze along Sousuke’s dick and was rewarded with a quick hitch of breath and a tug on his head. Emboldened, Makoto grabbed Sousuke’s hips and started a fast, frantic rhythm, his teeth grazing occasionally and his tongue sliding across the slit and then the underside of Sousuke’s dick.

He loved the sounds that Sousuke made. He loved the way Sousuke would pull his hair and growl, his eyes darkening further and his teeth digging into his lips. He loved feeling Sousuke twitch in his mouth. But he couldn’t stop imagining Haru.

How would Haru react if he bit at his hips like this? Would Haru like it if he sucked hard or soft? Does Haru like teeth or does he prefer tongue? Would Haru’s eyes darken like that or shimmer like the top of the ocean when the sun beat upon it?

Closing his eyes, Makoto let one hand drift to his neglected erection, his fingers wrapping around it lightly as he pulled on it. Humming in contentment as he found his rhythm, it was surprising when Makoto felt his world flip around. Opening his eyes, he found himself staring at the floor as Sousuke pulled his hips up. Twisting around so he could look over his shoulder, Makoto cried out as he felt a finger pushed inside of him.

“Yamazaki-kun!” Makoto panted as he tried to push up from the floor but found himself pinned by one of Sousuke’s hands.

“I told you I’m in control.” A second finger was added before he was fully stretched and Makoto had to bite his arm to keep from crying too loudly. It was pathetic how much he wanted it, though. His body betrayed him and his hips pushed backwards, impaling himself on Sousuke’s fingers. It felt so good when Sousuke curled them and thrust them in and out; Makoto loved the feeling of hovering between pain and pleasure.

There was a sharp tug at his neck and then a third finger was added. It was too much stimulation. Makoto’s dick dripped with precum and he wanted to come so badly. His fingers curled against the floor, his arms trembled as he tried to reach back to masturbate. But it was difficult when Sousuke pinned his shoulders to the floor and worked his fingers in and out of Makoto’s entrance.

Giving up, Makoto relaxed against the floor as he let himself be finger fucked. His mouth stayed open in a silent cry as Sousuke twisted his fingers. He wondered if this was wrong; if liking something like this was supposed to feel more dirty. He wondered if he was supposed to feel ashamed for liking the way Sousuke’s fingers stretched him out and filled him. He wondered if it would feel different with Haru. If maybe, he could actually feel as if this were special and something he wanted to treasure instead of just seeking release and the physical bliss that came afterward.

With a sharp tug on his arms, Makoto was pulled to his feet, Sousuke’s fingers pushing inside of him deeper. His knees felt weak and he wasn’t sure he could stand on his own. As Sousuke released him and reached down to grab his backpack, Makoto wobbled forward and leaned against the wall for support. His breath came in long, slow gasps as he tried to take control of his racing heart and gain control on his body.

Suddenly, Sousuke was pressing against him, all heat and hard muscle, his erection pressing against Makoto’s entrance and it made his forget how to breathe. There was something different this time in the way Sousuke felt but Makoto’s mind was too hazy to catch the difference.

“I like you like this, Tachibana.” The words curled around his brain like a lazy cat and Makoto felt like putty. His muscles wouldn’t listen to his mind and his mind was too busy remembering bright blue eyes and a soft smile to try and make his muscles work. “I like you helpless and begging. I like the way you scream when you feel good.”

His mouth moved in a silent reply; his tongue darting out to wet his lips as he watched Sousuke out of the corner of his eye. Pressing against the wall, Makoto made his body do what he wanted. Moving back, he was able to roll his ass against Sousuke’s erection in a plea for more. He wanted that pain and pleasure feeling again. He wanted his mind to stop thinking and to be overtaken by the soft, cloudy feeling Sousuke managed to make him feel.

“Fuck.” Sousuke growled as he pinned Makoto to the wall with one hand and lifted his hips with another, pushing into him with no hesitation.

It was intense; more painful than it had been the last time and Makoto had to bite his hand to keep from crying. Tears pricked his eyes as he shut them tight against the pain. But when Sousuke started moving, as he slid out and then pushed all the way back in and hit that one spot, Makoto felt his body relax and open and _OH_ was it good.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” Sousuke’s voice was deep and it hit Makoto in his gut. His dick jerked in response as Sousuke bit his neck again, pulling at the skin enough that Makoto knew there would be another bruise to cover.

It felt good. It felt amazing. Better than the last time because this time, Makoto was able to push back and take Sousuke deeper inside of him. He was able to move his hips, lifting himself up before he slid back onto Sousuke’s dick and it felt _Oh god yes_. Makoto tried to remember to breathe; tried to remember to stay quiet so his neighbors wouldn’t hear but the way Sousuke was driving into him left him weak and helpless.

He arched against the wall, using the remaining strength he had to force himself on to Sousuke as he thrust forward. Makoto screamed when Sousuke hit him just right, buried deep inside him and stretching him so much he worried he would rip.

“Shut up.” Sousuke growled in his ear, reaching around to stuff the meat of his palm in Makoto’s mouth. Moaning, Makoto bit down on Sousuke’s hand but refused to stay quiet. His muffled cries filled the apartment with the sounds of skin slapping against skin.

His legs were trembling, his dick painfully hard as he sought that last bit of contact; that friction that would send him over the edge. Sousuke wasn’t willing to grant him relief just yet. He refused to touch Makoto’s erection, keeping him pinned to the wall as he pulled out completely before burying himself deep inside Makoto once more.

It was unfair, the way Sousuke toyed with him like this but he couldn’t stop begging for more. Makoto wiggled his hips as he pressed back against Sousuke, trying to find that one spot again. He was close, so close he wanted to cry.

Teasing, Sousuke pulled out and carefully pressed his dick against Makoto’s entrance, not allowing himself to penetrate just yet. As he panted against Makoto’s ear, Sousuke pulled his hand out of Makoto’s mouth and trailed his fingers down the other man’s chest, stopping just before his groin. Makoto whimpered.

“Say it. Say you want me to fuck you. Tell me you want release.” Sousuke demanded, continuing to press his dick against Makoto’s entrance.

“Please!” Makoto whined, trying to impale himself on Sousuke. “Please fuck me. I need to come.”

With a growl, Sousuke pulled Makoto off of the wall and let him fall to the ground. Makoto knelt helpless, ass in the air as Sousuke grabbed his hips and slammed into him. It hurt so bad but still felt so good and Makoto knew this was wrong. But as Sousuke pushed into him, grunting with each thrust, Makoto knew he needed more.

Finally, Sousuke reached around and grabbed Makoto’s erection, pumping it in time with his own thrusts and soon, Makoto arched back in ecstasy as he came. Moments later, he felt Sousuke collapse on top of him and the world went black.

When he came to, Makoto felt Sousuke pull out of him with a sigh. Carefully turning around, Makoto watched as Sousuke pulled off the condom and tossed it into an empty plastic bag.

“Condoms?” With a shrug, Sousuke rolled over and spread out across the floor.

“I figured this wasn’t a one time deal. And maybe I should be ready.”

Makoto wanted to laugh. He wanted to cry. Instead, he nudged Sousuke onto the couch and headed to his bathroom to clean up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last SouMako part. Please feel free to tell me what you think.

They fell into a routine by accident. At first, it had just been using each other out of necessity. Whenever things got too difficult to handle and they needed a release; whenever Makoto couldn’t take the way Haru leaned too close, his breath warm against Makoto’s neck, as he read over Makoto’s shoulder. Or when Haru stopped wearing his swimming trunks when he soaked in the bath and Makoto pulled him out. Or when Haru smiled at him so warmly that it made his stomach flop and the world spin around him.

He hadn’t meant to start asking Sousuke over every week. He hadn’t meant to start worrying about being stocked with lube and condoms. He hadn’t wanted to start wondering what it would be like to try different things; toys and positions and kinks. He really hadn’t wanted this to become something regular; something that he looked forward to but also started to regret. But when he heard that familiar knock on his door, he felt some of the tension in chest relax and felt like he could breathe and just forget if only for a few short hours.

Although they didn’t really talk about it, Makoto could tell that things had become just as complicated for Sousuke. His eyes lingered on his phone longer than normal; his voice felt distant, as if he were forcing himself out of a dream to talk; his hands and teeth were rougher, more demanding and unapologetic as he found his relief in Makoto.

But as the weeks turned to months and the semester quickly passed by, Makoto found that his routine no longer brought him comfort. Although the sex was good – _really_ good, if he was forced to admit – it simply wasn’t enough anymore. In fact, now that he knew how good meaningless sex could feel, Makoto couldn’t stop his mind from imagining how it would feel if it was with Haru.

Would Haru bite him like that? Would Haru’s fingers bruise him? Hold his hips still as he pounded into Makoto the same way Sousuke did? Would Haru let Makoto touch him and tease him? Drag him to the point of release only to be stopped? What would Haru feel like inside him? Would he taste as cool as the water he loved? Would it hurt like it did with Sousuke?

“Makoto?” Haru’s fingers slipped easily over his arm, heat radiating through his skin wherever he touched and causing Makoto’s heart to stutter in his chest. Makoto clenched his hands tightly and tried to push the image of those hands pinning his wrists to the bed out of his mind. After taking a deep breath, Makoto smiled brightly as he faced Haru.

“Yes?”

“You’re…” Haru trailed off as he bit his lip, a look of uncertainty mixed with concern marring his features. “Is everything okay?”

The world stopped for a brief second as Makoto fought against the words that slid up his throat. Haru’s eyes were so bright, his lips so close and his hand felt so warm and comforting on Makoto’s arm.

“Yeah!” The air rushed out of his lungs and Makoto scrambled to grab the food stand’s counter. Everything about Haru seemed to overtake Makoto. Suddenly, all he could smell was the chlorine in Haru’s hair; all he could hear was the way Haru’s breath trembled as he leaned closer to Makoto; all he could feel was the heat from Haru’s body as he pressed closer, his muscles tensing as he pressed against Makoto’s side. It was more than Makoto could handle.

Pushing away from the counter, Makoto grabbed his bag and stumbled as he rose from the stool. Haru made a noise that sent shivers straight to Makoto’s groin, his dick twitching in pleasure. Flushing from embarrassment, Makoto quickly paid for his dinner and ran out of the restaurant, never looking at Haru once.

Before he knew it, his phone was in his hands; his fingers going through the familiar patterns of texting Sousuke for a late night meeting.

The entire trip home, Makoto’s heart wouldn’t calm down. His skin was flushed and hot to the touch but he felt cold all over. The doors to the train chimed open and Makoto stepped on, gratefully leaning against the railing as he fought to calm himself.

Lights flew by as the train rushed to the next station. With a shaky hand, Makoto brushed his hair out of his face and let his body relax. The rhythmic clacking of the wheels as they ran along the railing set him at ease. His body felt loose and his mind drifted as the train pulled into the next stop, doors opening with a loud ding.

“Tachibana?” Pulled out of his reverie, Makoto blinked slowly as he looked up into familiar blue eyes. Sousuke casually leaned against the wall of the train as the doors closed and t slowly left the station. A thick silence hung between them as Sousuke carefully took in the passengers around them. Softly clearing his throat, Sousuke leaned over so only Makoto would hear him. “Something happened with Nanase.”

Makoto wanted to deny it; he wanted to laugh and say something stupid like he just wanted to hang out or that he needed to get some information from class. But classes were over and his text had been straight and to the point. _I need you to fuck me_. When had Makoto gotten so desperate?

So he didn’t bother lieing.

“Can we talk about this later?” His head hit the railing with a dull thud as the train came to an abrupt halt at his station. With a studied glance and a careless shrug, Sousuke stepped on to the platform and started walking without waiting for Makoto. Sighing heavily, Makoto grudgingly followed his friend.

The walk to his apartment felt longer and more troublesome than normal. By the time Makoto opened his door and toed off his shoes, he felt like he had been traveling for hours. His phone felt heavy in his pocket as it vibrated with notifications every few minutes. Ashamed, he pulled it out and glanced at his message count.

Three new texts and one missed call. All from Haru.

Rubbing his head in frustration, Makoto threw his phone on to his bed and headed to the kitchen. Sousuke was already leaning against the counter, a glass of soda in his hand and one beside him. Gratefully accepting the drink, Makoto tried to ignore the muted notifications from his phone.

“Are we talking about it yet?” Sousuke’s voice was low and calm, neither pushing for an answer nor letting Makoto get away from talking.

“No.” His phone finally stopped buzzing and Makoto sighed in relief. His skin still tingled where Haru touched him. His heart still stopped when he remembered those bright blue eyes staring straight into his soul. His stomach still lurched with the desire to feel Haru against him; to wrap his arms around his friend and press a gentle kiss to those familiar lips. “I need to forget, that’s all. I can’t…around Haru…”

Sousuke shifted beside him but didn’t reach out to touch him. For some reason, Makoto was glad. The tension in his body released and he felt weak; his legs trembled beneath him and he had to lean against the counter for support. It was a strange dichotomy, wanting to be touched, to be fucked, and to forget but also hating himself for needing that.

“I can’t stop thinking about it, you know? What it would be like with Haru. Would it be better? Worse? Would he demand to eat mackerel after? Would he want to wear my shirts like when he forgets to bring clothes over?” Sighing softly, Makoto let his head fall backwards. Sousuke responded with a self-depreciating laugh, his hand unconsciously rubbing his shoulder. Makoto could almost read the thoughts running through his mind.

“You too, huh?” Makoto flinched as if he had been struck. “It feels wrong, doesn’t it? Thinking of Rin while I’m with you. Even if you’re doing the same thing I can’t stop feeling guilty.”

It felt like a weight had been lifted out of Makoto’s stomach. He felt lighter, giddy almost. His fingers brushed over his wrist where Haru had grabbed him and his skin tingled again. Sucking in a breath, he wondered what would have happened if he had leant forward and captured Haru’s lips with his own. Would he taste like the miso he had been eating moments before? Or would he taste as cool and clear as the water he loved.

His stomach curled uncomfortably and a light sweat broke out down his back. Licking his lips, Makoto glanced at Sousuke out of the corner of his eye. He wondered if it was wrong to still want to have sex; if asking Sousuke to help him this one, last time would be an admission to simply using him. Rubbing his wrist, Makoto twisted against the counter until he faced Sousuke.

Quirking an eyebrow, Sousuke sipped at his drink before putting it down. They stared at each other for a few strained moments before Sousuke slowly dipped his head down until his lips brushed across Makoto’s cheek.

Makoto sucked in sharply, his head jerking slightly in surprise and before he could think, his lips were pressed against Sousuke’s. It wasn’t anything like what Makoto expected a first kiss to be like. There were no butterflies in his stomach, no electricity or warmth spreading from his lips to his toes. His heart didn’t even jump or flutter in surprise. It wasn’t a bad kiss, it just wasn’t what Makoto wanted.

When Sousuke’s hand brushed against the hair at the nape of his neck, Makoto’s lips parted in a soft gasp and Sousuke took the invitation to deepen the kiss. Makoto’s hands grabbed Sousuke’s waist as a thumb rubbed against his jawline, enticing him to go further. Relaxing, Makoto shifted his body so he was pressed fully against Sousuke, their hips rubbing against each other sensually as their arousals grew.

Vaguely, Makoto could make out the distant humming of his phone once more. An image of Haru flashed through his mind, making it hard to breathe for a moment. On the verge of laughing in shame, Makoto pushed against Sousuke roughly, enough to force him back a few steps. Taking it as a challenge, Sousuke broke the kiss and bit Makoto’s neck hard enough to bruise.

A muffled cry escaped his lips as Makoto started pulling Sousuke out of the kitchen and towards his bedroom. His body was screaming with need; his skin ached to be kissed, have teeth raked across it. He wanted to punish himself. He wanted Sousuke to force him to forget and only feel for the moment. It was stupid and wrong and Makoto knew he would hate himself later but for that moment, he gave in to his bad judgment.

As they passed through the doorway to his bedroom, Sousuke started taking control as always. Grabbing Makoto’s wrists, he twisted the smaller man around. Makoto grunted as one arm wrapped around his chest, fingers digging into his skin. It wasn’t erotic or sensual in any sense. It wasn’t the possessive grip that Sousuke normally used on him, as if Makoto were his last hold on reality.

Unable to become aroused, Makoto closed his eyes and imagined Haru pressed behind him, his fingers deftly tracing the lines of Makoto’s muscles as he breathed in Makoto’s scent. The warmth of Sousuke’s breath as he bent to nip and kiss at his neck helped the image come alive in his mind. He could imagine the way Haru would have to stretch to reach his shoulders, growling the same way Sousuke did but from frustration rather than aggression.

His hips twisted and he could feel Sousuke’s erection press against him. The thought of being penetrated excited him and Makoto pushed back while he tugged his arms forward. Whining, he tried to turn in Sousuke’s grasp; tried to twist his hands loose or gain some partial freedom of mobility so he could take what he wanted and needed. Instead, Sousuke gripped his wrists more tightly and pushed a knee between his legs, pressing against his balls and making it difficult for Makoto to maintain his balance.

Tightening his abs as he strained to keep himself from falling over, Makoto hissed in surprised when Sousuke’s teeth sank into the meat of his shoulder. He cried when those teeth raked across his back so Sousuke could bite the muscle on the other side. Fire flared across his neck and Makoto could feel his dick twitch in his pants. He tried to grind down on Sousuke’s leg but found himself stumbling forward when Sousuke released his hands and gave him a nudge.

Irritated, Makoto started to turn around but lost his balance and fell backwards onto his bed. A low, muffled laugh caught Makoto’s attention and he looked up, embarrassed, as Sousuke shrugged out of his shirt while chuckling.

“Sorry. You looked really offended. It was sort of cute.” Sousuke’s shirt hit the floor carelessly and then he was on Makoto, leaning over him - pushing him into the mattress. “I like that about you.”

Blushing, Makoto hid his face against Sousuke’s neck and gasped as his finger slid down his sides, toying with the edge of his pants. Feeling heated and frustrated, Makoto nipped at Sousuke’s neck to urge him on while rolling his hips. Sousuke moaned and leaned his head away, granting Makoto better access to his neck and shoulder; Makoto bit hard, leaving a vivid red mark on Sousuke’s shoulder and attempted to roll them over to take control. Not about to give up his position, Sousuke’s hand snaked beneath Makoto’s pants and grabbed is erection.

Pleasure swept across Makoto’s body, pinpointing at his stomach and making his muscles quiver in anticipation. He tried to push Sousuke off of him but his arms grew weaker as his erection continued to be rubbed. With a breathy sigh, Makoto gave in and collapsed against the mattress, mewling as Sousuke’s fingers wrapped around his head. Shaky hands reached down to loosen his pants and allow better access.

“You’re so easy, Tachibana.” Sousuke murmured against his ear, his free hand cupping the back of Makoto’s head, fingers tangling with his hair. “But I enjoy hearing all the noises you make.”

Leisurely, Sousuke pulled at Makoto’s pants and boxers until they were tangled around his knees. Ever so slowly, fingers traced the curve of his hip and gripped the curve of his ass. Makoto giggled as those fingers teased closer to his entrance, his breath coming shorter as Sousuke’s mouth began to move down his chest and stomach.

Sousuke always seemed to be fascinated by Makoto’s stomach, giving a lot of attention to the lines of his muscles; he normally created designs with the tips of his fingers and erased them with his mouth and tongue. He especially loved Makoto’s groin, sucking and biting the flesh, making Makoto writhe in ecstasy and distress as Sousuke pushed him closer and closer to the edge only to deny him moments later. He loved toying with Makoto and making him beg for release. Makoto never enjoyed this part of their relationship. While he enjoyed the attention and the pleasure Sousuke coaxed from his body, he wanted something more equal and fulfilling.

Perhaps, he thought as Sousuke flipped him over and hands swept over his ass, perhaps this was why this agreement with Sousuke wasn’t working out. He wanted something different from Sousuke; more than just another person.

His thoughts were derailed as Sousuke shuffled down the bed until he was able to bite and suck along Makoto’s ass and the back of his thighs. Moaning into his pillow, Makoto twisted his head and watched as Sousuke removed his pants and fisted his own erection. It was more exciting than Makoto would have thought – watching Sousuke masturbate while he almost licked Makoto’s entrance. It was arousing and intoxicating. Without thinking, Makoto’s own hand drifted down his stomach until his fingers brushed the head of his erection and made his stomach clench.

There was a brief pause from Sousuke when Makoto’s hips jerked. Glancing over his shoulder, Makoto stared dazedly into Sousuke’s intense, bright eyes. It made his breath catch and a whimper crawl out of his throat. Silently begging, Makoto pushed his hips back into Sousuke’s face. Biting his lip, he closed his eyes as he thumbed the head of his erection and waited for that cold, burning sensation as Sousuke prepared him.

There was the sound of his dresser drawer opening and closing and then, the bed dipped and Makoto grabbed his erection in surprise. The extra pressure and stomach dropping sensation left Makoto panting. Gasping for air, Makoto twisted to the side, reaching up to grab hold of the slim headboard before him.

The first finger slid in easily. Makoto felt a little ashamed for how easy it had been. Wasn’t it supposed to hurt more? When had it stopped hurting? Was he enjoying it a little too much to feel the pain?

But when the second finger slid in, his butt clenched as he hissed in surprise. Sousuke was being quicker than normal and the brief thought flashed through Makoto’s mind about whether or not he would be fully prepared when Sousuke entered him. But as time progressed and Sousuke continued to work him with two fingers, Makoto grew frustrated. Grunting, he pushed back hard so those long, thick fingers pushed into him deeply. Moaning from satisfaction, Makoto wiggled his hips and ground down on Sousuke’s fingers as much as possible.

With a deep chuckle, Sousuke pushed on Makoto’s shoulders until he was pressed against the mattress and unable to move comfortably. Makoto shivered as a warm wetness traveled up his spine and ended at his ear with a sharp bite.

“Do you want more?” Sousuke’s voice was so deep it made Makoto’s head spin. He sounded raw and gritty and hit on every nerve in Makoto’s body and made it tingle with excitement. It was like fireworks setting off under his skin. The whine that escaped his mouth was embarrassing but he could feel and hear Sousuke’s breath hitch and deepen. “I like how easily to receive me. As if you’ve been waiting for me.”

Hiding his face in his pillow, Makoto pushed his hips up as much as he could, inviting Sousuke to fuck him without having to ask. Nervously, he bit at his arm and waited, hoping he wouldn’t have to ask or beg like normal. When the third finger slipped in and twisted in a way that set Makoto’s stomach fluttering, his jaw slackened and he had to stop himself from salivating on his pillow.

His stomach twisted and turned with delight and he felt his balls contract. It was like sparks were being sent up his spine and abdomen, making it impossible to follow either track. Instead, Makoto writhed, trying to find the position that felt best. But just as he found the spot that sent fireworks into his vision, Sousuke pulled him back by his hair and pulled out his fingers.

“You can’t get off that easily. Not without me inside you, feeling you enjoy this.” Sousuke growled as he gently pushed against Makoto’s entrance. It was so frustrating to have something he wanted so close but being kept out of his grasp. Grinding his teeth, growling in his chest, Makoto pushed against the restraints against him until he had pushed Sousuke’s head past his entrance and felt him gliding slowly but firmly into him.

Once Sousuke’s erection was firmly inside him, Makoto sighed and relaxed, letting himself rest against his sheets and enjoy the contrast of their coolness and Sousuke’s heat. The feeling of Sousuke stretching him was addicting in a way that Makoto wasn’t sure he liked. It felt good but also it felt like punishment; as if this were something he shouldn’t like and shouldn’t want whether it was with Sousuke or Haru.

Forcing the thought from his mind, Makoto began to pump his hips in a slow and uneven rhythm. Each push against Sousuke was pleasure but pulling away from him was pain - as if a cold fire was being ignited inside of him. It made Makoto’s head swim and he had to grasp his sheets for some kind of purchase on reality. But when Sousuke pulled on his hair, making his back arch, Makoto lost all sense of himself.

His arms gave out and his legs shuddered as he tried to keep up with Sousuke’s rhythm. The bed frame rocked against the wall, embarrassing Makoto as he cried in tandem with each hit. When Sousuke’s teeth raked down his back, Makoto’s body went taunt and each thrust inside him pushed deeper than before. Tears pricked the corners of his eyes as one of Sousuke’s hands slid over his waist and gripped his erection. It felt as if a firework went off.

Babbling incoherently, Makoto tossed his head back, lips seeking contact. For a few, blissful seconds, Sousuke was wrapped around Makoto as their lips crashed together. It felt right and perfect and Makoto wanted to melt into that feeling and live on that high forever but the world came crashing back as his orgasm finished and Sousuke continued.

His vision was gloriously fuzzy and his body felt like softened butter. Even if he’d wanted to, he wouldn’t have been able to move. But his hips began to feel stretched and painful as Sousuke thrust into him again and again, as hard as when they started. Makoto felt raw and worn and he wanted to help but couldn’t find it in himself to try harder. Eventually, Sousuke would peak and collapse on top of him; eventually. So Makoto simply waited.

With a breathless grunt, Sousuke’s fingers dug into Makoto’s hips and his rhythm became erratic before he finally curled around Makoto, relaxing. The room became impossibly quiet as the men lay together, legs slightly tangled as they caught their breaths and pieced together their thoughts. Gazing out of the corner of his eye, Makoto tried to watch Sousuke and determine what he was thinking; it was impossible, though. Even after all this, Sousuke remained a stranger to him.

No, that wasn’t right. He got along well with the other man – they had quite a few things in common – but there wasn’t that connection that he had with Haru. So not a stranger but definitely not more than a friend.

Relief washed over Makoto as he accepted his thoughts. Going further with this charade wasn’t going to benefit either of them. Instead, Makoto had started to feel worn and unstable; as if having meaningless sex with Sousuke was causing more heartache than it was relieving. It was time to let go and face his feelings for Haru.

“You aren’t enjoying this anymore, are you?” Makoto was a little jolted when Sousuke seemed to read his mind. Embarrassed and slightly ashamed, Makoto ran a hand through his hair and shifted away from the other man. He felt Sousuke shrug through the mattress. “We never promised each other anything out of this except for relief so it’s not like it bothers me. And I feel the same way. You’re just not doing it for me anymore.”

Hurt, Makoto sat up and stared at Sousuke. A blush bloomed across his cheeks and Makoto wasn’t sure why he felt so used and hurt when he felt the same. But when a smile cracked Sousuke’s lips and brightened his eyes, Makoto felt some of the shame wash away.

“Just kidding.” A light laugh bubbled from Makoto’s chest and a knot that had formed tightly somewhere deep within loosened. This was easy. It was going to be easy. And they’d be fine. No hurt feelings and no regrets.

“I’m sorry I’m not Rin.” Sousuke flinched and pushed himself off the mattress.

Okay. Maybe a little regret.

“But I feel better.” Makoto continued, pointedly looking at Sousuke as he spoke. “You’re not Haru and I’m not Rin; and even though this turned into something…different…I think it helped. I know what I want now and I know it can only be with Haru. I’m sure you feel the same.”

A bitter, fragile laugh erupted from Sousuke as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed, rubbing his face with his hands as he stared at the floor. It made Makoto’s chest tighten in a strange way.

“You’re right.” With a sigh and a quirk of the lips, Sousuke grabbed his shirt and pulled it on. Ashamed, Makoto watched with great appreciation for all the training Sousuke put in through high school. “It wasn’t that bad. Maybe, if things were different…”

The sentence hung in the air to remain forever uncompleted as he finished dressing. Makoto quickly dressed as Sousuke gathered his things and prepared to leave. He felt exhausted, emotionally and physically, and would be glad to slide into a warm bath and sleep until tomorrow afternoon. But etiquette dictated he see his guest out, he reminded himself as he eyed the bathroom door.

“So this is it, huh? No more calls in the middle of the night? No more study sessions?” With a soft laugh, Makoto rubbed the back of his head as he opened his front door.

“No, no. I don’t think I’ll be bothering you for this sort of thing again. Same for you?” The laugh caught in his throat as he noticed Sousuke staring at the doorway, not moving. Dread sitting like a heavy stone in his stomach, Makoto turned and found Haru standing before him, eyes wide and pupils dilated. It felt like his world cracked around him – little pieces suddenly not fitting together correctly in his vision. An eternity passed before any of them breathed.

Haru stood in the doorway, tongue flicking out over his lips as his eyes darted up and down Makoto before glancing towards Sousuke. It would have been so simple for Makoto to say they had been studying. Or he had needed to talk to Sousuke or something. Any lie that would have explained why Yamazaki Sousuke was in his apartment so late; why Sousuke was there after Makoto had run away from Haru. But there was something in the way Haru’s eyes slid over him that made Makoto know Haru knew the truth.

Maybe it was the way their clothes were rumpled. Maybe it was the large bruise Makoto felt forming on his neck from where Sousuke bit him. Maybe it was the smell that clung to them. Or maybe…maybe he had heard everything. That thought scared Makoto to his core.

“Ha-Haru.” Makoto breathed. And then, the moment was over.

Haru’s jaw clenched and Makoto swore he saw something break in those brilliant blue eyes before his friend turned and ran. In a flash, Makoto was out the door, reaching for Haru as he fled but fingers only brushing the back of his jacket. There was a soft, broken gasp and Haru was gone.

Shivering in his doorway, Makoto watched as the person he loved ran away from him and knew it was completely his fault.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru and Makoto work things out in grand fashion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is over! I severely apologize if the ending is not to your liking but, I really didn't have a point to this fic other than to write smut situtations that I craved. It just happened to gain a plot in the middle somehow. So the ending is bad, I will admit, but I'm hoping at least the sex is good!
> 
> If you have any comments, please feel free to leave them! I realize that, when I write smut, my writing gets repetitive so I'd like to know what you think about it overall.
> 
> Also, if you don't feel comfortable leaving a message here, I have a tumblr at ninjalc.tumblr.com or a twitter: @perushana_scene. If I don't write back right away it's because I'm really busy over the next month with wedding preparations so please forgive me! I will reply; promise.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy power-bottom Makoto and the sloppy sex they have.

Two weeks had passed since Makoto had last seen Haru. He had lost count the number of times his thumb had hovered over Haru’s number, too scared to hit “call”. The number of apologies he had written and saved in his drafts increased every hour; he sometimes even wondered what he was supposed to apologize for. He lost count of the nights he had taken the train to Haru’s stop just to turn around and return home.

His stomach was in knots; impossible to eat while his mind constantly focused on his last image of Haru, fleeing from his apartment. Sleep was a reprieve for only a few hours - and only when he didn’t dream. Makoto was exhausted and hungry but wound too tight with worry and guilt.

One week had passed since he received a curt text from Rin: _we’re in spain. stop worrying._ Which really only made Makoto worry more because how was he supposed to fix things with Haru if he was out of the country? He couldn’t talk to Haru now, right before a meet and possibly mess him up. But what if Haru did poorly because Makoto hadn’t apologized and fixed this mess? Every thought circled and chased another in his head until Makoto felt dizzy with overthinking.

Two days had passed since Sousuke had called him, his tone lighter than Makoto had heard in months.

“Rin called.” Makoto’s stomach plummeted. “I don’t know what Nanase told him but he seemed pretty upset. Probably would have punched me. Might still punch me when he sees me again.”

Trembling, Makoto leaned against the kitchen counter, resting his head on the wall. Nervously, he licked his lips and waited for Sousuke to continue.

“Anyway, I’m not allowed to be with you anymore. Which doesn’t really matter since…” Makoto laughed hollowly as Sousuke chuckled warmly. He wasn’t sure whether to take this as a good thing or not. “So I guess that means Rin and I have things to work out when he gets back. That’s good, right?”

“Yeah.” Makoto’s mind froze. He wanted to say more, to congratulate Sousuke; say how glad he was things had worked out. But his throat wasn’t working. His mouth felt tight and dry, as if he hadn’t drank in days. “Yeah.”

There were a million questions and words running through Makoto’s mind. His tongue felt heavy against his teeth as he fought against asking Sousuke: _What did Haru tell Rin? Did Rin say anything about Haru? Is Haru upset? Was Haru disgusted? Did Haru care?_

“Hey, Tachibana.” The pause as Sousuke considered his words was long and harsh. “It’ll be okay. Probably.”

Why he laughed, he wasn’t sure. But for Makoto, it felt like a weight had lifted off his chest and suddenly made him buoyant.

It was another week before Makoto was finally able to accept that there was nothing he could do but wait. He couldn’t apologize to Haru if he wasn’t sure what was wrong – if there was anything wrong at all. And the more he considered, what would he apologize for? He and Haru weren’t dating; they were friends. So it wasn’t as if Makoto had done anything wrong.

Other than maybe sleep with someone Haru may or may not hate behind his back.

That was a fucking wonderful idea, now that he thought about it.

Groaning, Makoto tried to ignore the knocking at his door. He wasn’t in the mood to visit with anyone at the moment, instead choosing to continue to wallow in his self-pity. But the knocking continued, becoming louder and harsher by the minute. Covering his head with a pillow, Makoto yelled into his couch.

“Go away! Please go away.” For a moment, Makoto thought his wishes had been answered until he heard his doorknob turning. His heart caught in his throat as the door whined open. He was positive he had locked his door the night before and there was only one spare. Which he had given to Haru.

Holding completely still, Makoto listened as the person entered his apartment, shuffling to remove their shoes, and softly walked down the entry hall. With shallow breath, Makoto pulled the pillow off his head and turned to see Haru watching him.

It felt as if the world was crashing around him. He couldn’t read the thoughts he knew were swirling behind Haru’s eyes. He couldn’t see past the mask of Haru’s neutral expression. It was as if everything he knew about Haru were no longer valid and he needed to relearn how to read his friend.

“Haru.” The name was a strained whisper across the room that Makoto hoped Haru had missed.

Slowly, Haru lowered the bag on his shoulder to the floor and headed towards the kitchen. Carefully, quietly, Makoto sat up on his couch, silently observing every move Haru made. It was a complete disconnect to see his friend serenely making a cup of tea after the stress and fear of the past month. It was almost as if nothing had changed between them, but the tense posture of Haru’s shoulders told Makoto the truth.

The tea kettle whistled loudly in the kitchen and Haru measured out the water into two mugs. As Haru padded his way towards the couch – and Makoto – an almost electric hum filled Makoto’s head. The clink of the mugs on the table sounded distant and muffled. Unable to bring himself to move, Makoto watched Haru out of the corner of his eye. Only after Haru had taken a sip of his tea did Makoto gather the courage to talk.

“I’m not sorry.” The way Haru tensed made Makoto flinch and his heart beat a little faster. Clenching his fists, Makoto took a long, slow breath before continuing, his voice weak. “I was scared when you ran away – I never wanted to hurt you or…so I got scared. And worried. But, thinking it over, I’m not sorry. Not for what I did. I’m sorry you found out like that and-“

“Do you like him?” Haru’s voice was soft, dancing across the surface of his tea as he raised the mug to his lips. Pulled up short, Makoto’s head jerked and he stared at Haru.

“Wh-what?”

“Yamazaki. Do you like him?” Haru’s eyes flicked towards Makoto before he turned his face away, lifting his mug to hide his lips.

“Yamazaki-kun?” Disbelief colored Makoto’s question, unsure he understood Haru properly. Rubbing the back of his neck, he considered his answer. “I suppose I do like him. He’s been a good friend. And he’s helped with our classwork.”

Makoto glanced sideways and noticed the way Haru had closed himself off; shoulders hunching over and his face turned almost completely away. Deciding to take a risk – how much worse could things get between them? – Makoto took a bracing breath and, scratching his cheek, continued.

“But…but if you’re asking if I’m – ah – attracted to Yamazaki-kun,” He noticed the way Haru shifted towards him, mug lowering slightly, “then no. I’m not. Interested in him. Not that way. There’s – ahhh – I like someone else.”

While it felt as if a weight had been removed from his stomach, the atmosphere in the room suddenly felt tense; as if a bow string had been pulled taunt and were about to break. Makoto could feel the curiosity and anxiety rolling off of Haru in waves. Clearing his throat, Makoto shifted forward and fiddled with the handle of his own mug.

“How long?” Haru’s voice was still incredibly soft, as if he were afraid it would break the mug in his hands. Makoto’s heard pounded so hard in his chest it became difficult to breathe. He could feel each pulse throughout his entire body; his smile felt stretched and shaky.

“Forever.” He whispered without looking at his friend. He felt the breath Haru sucked in; a lump twisted in his chest and Makoto wondered if this is what heartbreak felt like.

“Why?” Forcing himself to continue smiling, Makoto turned and looked through Haru as he answered.

“It was an escape. It made sense, at first. What we both wanted…it wasn’t going to happen so-“

“Stupid.” Makoto froze, his chest icing over as Haru glared at him. Swallowing thickly, Makoto dropped his smile and looked away.

“Haha. Yeah, I guess it sort of was when you look back on it.” Running a hand through his hair, Makoto pushed himself off the couch and took his – now cold – cup of tea to the kitchen. “So…is everything okay between us? I’m sorry I wasn’t able to make it to your race. I know I said I would and-“

“No.” Suddenly, Haru was right behind Makoto, trapping him against the kitchen counter in a way that reminded Makoto of another encounter. It sent his heart racing.

“Ha-Haru.” Makoto squeaked, very conscious of how close their bodies were and the way Haru’s pupils flared.

“No.” Haru growled again, leaning into Makoto. “No, everything is not okay. When I think about you and…I’m not okay.”

The room tilted forwards as Makoto felt tears prick the corners of his eyes. Biting his lip, he clenched the counter to keep himself from falling and simply nodded when Haru frowned.

“It’s always been you and me – always. No matter what. I don’t…I don’t to lose you.” Haru huffed and looked away as he struggled with the right words. Unsure what to think, Makoto stayed still, hardly daring to breathe. “I don’t like anyone else being with you…like that.”

“Haru?” The name was a breath against Makoto’s lips, hope building in his chest. Haru turned an intense gaze on him as he fought to catch his breath.

“You like me.” It was a statement – not a question – and Makoto wondered at his certainty. “Rin told me.”

Nervously licking his lips, all Makoto could do was nod; he didn’t trust his voice at the moment.

“I-I like you. I like you and I don’t want you with anyone else. I don’t want you to touch anyone else like that again. I don’t want-“ Before he realized what he was doing, Makoto slid his hand around Haru’s neck and pulled him closer until their lips touched. It was as if fire flowed through Makoto’s veins. His skin felt tight and his chest was about to burst. The way Haru tensed but quickly recovered; his fingers pulling at Makoto’s shirt, his body trembling against Makoto.

It was nothing like Makoto was expecting. It was all teeth and hot breath; noses bumping together as they fought for control. He was leaning awkwardly, pushed into the kitchen counter while bending down to reach Haru’s lips. It was uncomfortable and a little disgusting but it sent bolts of longing and desire through Makoto’s body in a way that never happened with Sousuke. It was absolute heaven.

When they finally broke for air, Haru rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand and Makoto shifted until he was in a more comfortable position. He wanted to apologize, to explain his actions and ask if Haru was okay with it, but all his worries were pushed aside when Haru surged forward, cupping Makoto’s face as he gently brought their lips together.

A high-pitched whine caught in the back of Makoto’s throat and he wanted to be embarrassed, but the way Haru growled deep in his chest made his legs weak and his fingers tremble. Haru’s hips pressed against his and Makoto realized he wasn’t the only one strongly affected by their kiss. By the way Haru was rubbing against him, the way his breath was hitching between kisses, Makoto knew Haru was seeking release. Caught up in the heady, intoxicating rush of desire, Makoto pulled Haru closer until he could feel the bulge forming in Makoto’s pants as well.

Haru’s fingers dug into Makoto’s hips as he ground their hips together. His teeth sank into Makoto’s shoulders so deeply, Makoto knew he was going to bruise. But the sound, the wonderful, deep, guttural sound that forced its way out the side of Haru’s mouth made Makoto’s breath hitch. It was possessive and desperate - a sound Makoto had never made nor heard from Sousuke during all of their time together. It made his insides melt and his dick twitch. What other noises could he pull from Haru?

Intrigued, Makoto slid his hands up Haru’s shirt, relishing the feeling of the muscles flexing and shivering beneath his tough. He gasped when Haru began to pull at his shirt, nails scraping up his sides as it was pulled off. Haru’s eyes darkened when they fell on Makoto’s heaving chest, his tongue darting out to lick his lips in a feral manner. Makoto grabbed the counter to keep steady as he whimpered. Haru hadn’t even touched him and he could already feel electricity shooting to his groin.

This is what he’d been looking for with Sousuke. This electric bolt to his senses. This desire to do things to his partner; to make them scream and groan and beg with desire. He wanted Haru’s eyes on him as they moved together; wanted to watch those blue eyes darken with desire and need as Makoto rode Haru to completion. The way Haru looked at him, the way Haru was reverently touching him, as if he’d never seen Makoto undressed before. It was too much but not enough.

“Makoto,” Haru’s voice resonated down his spine and a muffled groan fell from his lips. The way Haru’s fingers trembled as they fumbled with his jeans made him blush. As much as he wanted to take Haru right then, he needed to be sure.

“Ha-Haru,” Makoto gasped as he gently grasped Haru’s hands and pulled them away. Haru replied with a grunt of frustration as he twisted his hands, trying to release the hold. Makoto relented but cupped Haru’s face and forced him to look up. “Haru, is this…do you really…?”

The words hung in the air as Makoto tried to piece together the questions that were flitting around his mind. Did Haru want him? Like this? Was Haru ready? Shouldn’t they wait? Because it was Haru, Makoto wanted everything to be special. If they went all the way now, would they regret it later?

Tenderly, Haru pulled Makoto’s hands until he was able to softly kiss the palms. Makoto’s heart stopped for a moment when Haru caught his gaze and smiled so sweetly that Makoto’s chest ached.

“It’s okay as long as it’s with Makoto.” A fierce wave of relief and affection swept over Makoto; his body felt light as Haru’s lips continued up his arms until they reached his neck. Fingers unconsciously sought to thread through Haru’s hair as he sloppily licked and kissed at Makoto’s neck. As Haru pressed against him, rubbing their bodies together, Makoto knew he wouldn’t be able to deny either of them. This is what he had waited so long for and, now that it was finally here, he wanted to treasure every moment.

Clumsily, Makoto pushed them away from the kitchen counter and started guiding Haru towards his bedroom. He was shoved against every wall they passed, nearly tripping over his own feet in his haste to have Haru laying naked on his bed. Just the image in his head of Haru writhing against him, Haru panting while Makoto rode him, made Makoto’s stomach drop and his blood rush through his veins. It was intoxicating; heady.

When his legs hit the edge of the bed, Haru continuing to push against him and nearly making him fall, Makoto grabbed Haru and threw him onto the mattress, relishing the look of consternation and surprise that crossed his face.

“Haru,” Makoto drawled as he languorously straddled his best friend. “I want to make this good for you. I want to make you feel good. It’s…it’s what I’ve always wanted. To make you happy.”

The way Haru’s expression froze and then softened cause Makoto’s chest to clench. He wanted to cry; to bury his face against the crook of Haru’s neck and be held for the rest of his life; to feel safe in those arms and know that Haru would always be there for him, with him, as he would always be there for Haru. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Makoto smiled and leaned down to leave a butterfly kiss against Haru’s lips.

“Makoto,” was all Haru had to say. The trembling of his body and the way his skin reddened and blotched told Makoto what he needed to know. The soft warmth of Haru’s eyes emboldened Makoto to continue.

Biting his lip, Makoto reached down to undo the button and zipper of Haru’s pants. It was difficult to keep from giggling and smiling in ecstasy as Haru lifted his hips and allowed Makoto to pull his pants off. The shape of Haru’s erection beneath his boxers was completely different from Sousuke’s. It was quite smaller, less straining; but it still made Makoto’s heart hammer in his chest.

This was Haru’s body – his mind told him as his fingers slid down Haru’s stomach – this was Haru’s dick, Haru’s erection. This was Haru being attracted to and wanting to physically be with Makoto. It was enough to make Makoto blush. But as he pulled down Haru’s underwear and freed his erection, the only thing he could think was how much he wanted to touch it and feel it inside of him.

“Makoto…” Haru’s voice caught in his throat as his fingers brushed against Makoto’s arms. Fire flowed from that small touch and Makoto didn’t bother stopping the moan that fell from his lips. Wanting more of that touch, Makoto pulled at his own pants, clumsily working them off his legs until both of them were completely naked. Flushed skin pressing against flushed skin and Makoto thought he would cum right then from the feeling. But Haru’s fingers digging into his hips brought him back to reality and the fact that Haru _would_ cum if he didn’t stop moving.

“Ah! Ma-MakoTO!” Haru’s voice pitched as his hips thrust upward for friction and Makoto quickly pinned him, viciously clamping down at the base of Haru’s dick. It was a close call as a whine squeezed past Haru’s lips and his fingernails broke through Makoto’s skin; but he didn’t cum.

Laughing breathlessly, Makoto’s hands slid up Haru’s body as he fought for control, biting his lip as he glared at Makoto. Apologies were sketched on Haru’s skin, Makoto’s lips kissing promises up his stomach and chest until they found Haru’s. It was the sweetest, most perfect kiss Makoto could imagine. He felt everything that Haru wanted to say through it; he understood Haru’s impatience and desire; he knew everything about Haru in that one moment.

Wrenching himself away from Haru, Makoto reached for his dresser drawer and searched for the items he needed. Curious, Haru propped himself up on an elbow and watched with a quirked eyebrow.

“I need…stuff…” Makoto mumbled as his fingers chased after the stray bottle of lube. “It’ll feel…better…”

With a shrug, Haru lay back down but Makoto could feel those intense blue eyes on him. When cool fingers wrapped around his erection, he yelped sharply and jerked out of Haru’s grasp. His dick twitched in reproach and Makot blushed when he realized Haru was avidly watching his body’s reaction. Swallowing his embarrassment – hadn’t he done this plenty of times with Sousuke? – Makoto reached down and showed Haru how he liked to be touched. His jaw dropped when Haru quickly picked up on what he wanted and how he liked being stroked; he forgot how quick of a learner Haru was.

“Haru…why do you always make me happy?” Sighing, Makoto opened the bottle of lube and spread a few drops on his fingers. As he concentrated on preparing himself, he missed the dark blush that spread from Haru’s cheeks to his chest. He didn’t miss the way Haru’s fingers followed his as he pressed against his entrance. “Ah, do you…do you want to do this?”

When Haru shook his head but continued to watch and follow Makoto’s actions with his fingers, another thought filtered through Makoto’s mind.

“Do you like watching?” The quick nod was all Makoto needed to send a fierce electric jolt through his body. Biting his lip, Makoto continued preparing himself, breath hitching as the tips of Haru’s fingers rubbed against him.

Impatient, Makoto dragged his fingers away, catching Haru’s wrist as he positioned himself above Haru’s cock. It was hard to breathe as he watched Haru’s face, searching for the slightest hint that would tell him what Haru was feeling and thinking. He loved the minute changes in those clear blue eyes as he shifted slightly, letting the tip of Haru’s dick push against him. Reading the changes as Haru’s demeanor broke down was intoxicating; it made Makoto feel powerful in a way that he had never experienced.

Making the descent as torturous and pleasurable for them both as possible, Makoto eased onto Haru’s cock carefully, enjoying the feeling of being filled once more. Haru felt undeniably different than Sousuke and it made Makoto sigh in pleasure. The pain was different; not gone but not as pronounced as before. As he shifted and took Haru in further, the mixture of pain and pleasure was nearly too much. His dick twitched as he was stretched and filled and if he hadn’t been biting his lips, Makoto knew the moan he stifled would have been too loud, too obscene.

As he finally came to rest on Haru’s thighs, Makoto sighed in relief and satisfaction. Wiggling his hips slightly, Makoto accustomed himself to the feel of Haru inside of him. Not as large as Sousuke but definitely not small; the tip rubbing and tickling against him in a way that made him shiver from his belly up. Makoto only stopped when fingers started digging painfully into his waist.

Eyes unfocused, Makoto glanced own at Haru and felt his heart pound painfully in his chest. Haru’s eyes were screwed tight, his teeth biting viciously into his bottom lip as his chest flushed a bright red. Emboldened by Haru’s reactions, Makoto lifted himself up - relishing the feeling of Haru sliding out of him – and slammed himself back down on Haru’s erection.

“AH!” Haru bucked into the contact, his hips jerking erratically as his jaw dropped open. Fireworks lit inside Makoto’s stomach as Haru pushed deeper inside him. A low whine escaped him when Haru’s fingers brushed against his erection. Reaching down, Makoto took hold of himself with one hand as he used the other to steady himself on the headboard. Taking a deep breath, he started a slow rhythm that synced with Haru’s gasps and moans.

Watching Haru’s eyes glaze over, his tongue wet his lips hungrily as his fingers traveled and dug into his hips and thighs and ass, was a heady experience. Not once could Makoto remember Sousuke reacting so instantaneously to his movements. Not once could he remember his body flaring and cooling with a simple brush of fingertips or even eyes. But with the frequent gasps and the way his body was tightening, Makoto knew Haru wouldn’t last long.

Carefully, Makoto bent forward, cupping the back of Haru’s head as their lips locked together. Moaning in satisfaction, Makoto shifted his position and stalled for a moment. He could feel Haru’s breath shuddering against his cheek and neck and before he could even think about it, the words escaped him.

“I’ve always loved you, Haru.”

“Mako-“ Burying his face against Haru’s neck, Makoto and picked up his pace, effectively silencing Haru.

But Haru was anything but silent as Makoto rode him to completion. Little strangled gasps and whimpers peppered Makoto’s ear as he bit and sucked on Haru’s shoulder. Bracing himself above Haru, Makoto watched, fascinated, as he took in his erection once, twice, then felt Haru twitch and come with a gasping cry.

Entranced, Makoto watched Haru’s face as his orgasm hit. He enjoyed the feeling of Haru’s body shuddering beneath and inside him and felt a satisfaction and endearment that hadn’t been there with Sousuke. Heart full to bursting, Makoto placed gentle butterfly kisses along Haru’s neck and face as he came down off his high.

“Makoto,” he whispered reverently as his fingers shakily brushed Makoto’s face.

“Makoto,” he said again, wonder and awe and love laced together in one name. Happiness surrounded Makoto like a thick cocoon, leaving him content. But even with the delight of being Haru’s first and bringing him to orgasm, Makoto was still unfulfilled.

Sliding off of Haru – trying to ignore the wetness between his legs – Makoto lazily curled his fingers around his erection and started to pleasure himself while gazing wondrously at Haru’s face. Being able to see the lasting affect he had, knowing that he was the one that caused such ecstasy in Haru, made Makoto yearn for release. Eyes lidded, Makoto found a slow, relaxing rhythm that would slowly him up, allowing him to take in all the little changes in Haru’s body as he came back down.

Muffling a moan in his throat, Makoto bit his lip and rolled on to his back. His grip changed and a shudder rolled through his back around his to groin and forced his eyes shut in delight. When he opened them again, he was surprised to see Haru leaning over his, blue eyes hungrily raking over his body; they lingered at his erection. Shifting up on his elbows, Makoto smiled at his friend a little self-consciously.

“Is something wrong?” When Haru just shook his head, eyes not leaving Makoto’s erection, it made Makoto slightly nervous. Gradually, Haru’s fingers moved towards Makoto’s hips then ghosted over his skin to lay heavily just above his groin. Breathe rushed from Makoto’s lungs as Haru’s fingers carefully touched his dick; feather light caresses that made Makoto twitch.

“H-Haru,” Makoto whined, head lolling back against the wall. Without looking away from his work, Haru smirked at his friend before leaning forward and exhaling against his dick. Caught unprepared, Makoto yelped as his hand shot out to grab Haru’s hair. Undaunted, Haru leaned into the grasp for a moment before lowering his head and clumsily wrapping his lips around Makoto’s erection. Shocked and overcome with need, Makoto’s fingers twisted in Haru’s hair – pulling harshly – while his hips jerked off the bed.

There was no time to warn Haru as Makoto’s hips thrust up and he nearly gagged. Coughing and wiping tears and saliva off his face, Haru stared at Makoto in surprise; Makoto could only flush and sputter in embarrassment.

“Oh my god! Haru! I’m so sorry! Are you okay? We should stop. Oh my god!” The apologies ran together as Makoto reached for his friend, hands fluttering over his chest and face as if to ensure he was whole. Haru simply batted the hands away and fixed Makoto with a glare before straddling his legs and leaning heavily on his hips.

“Don’t move,” he commanded as he stared at the erection before him again. And as he descended once more, Makoto silently begged his body to behave and let his have this moment. Focusing on his breathing, Makoto watched in star-struck lust as Haru swallowed his dick once more, cheeks bulging slightly as he tried to figure out where to put his tongue.

It was, without comparison, the worst blowjob Makoto had ever received.

Haru had absolutely no rhythm, sometimes sucking painfully slow while at other times going so quick Makoto worried he would slip and choke again. He also had trouble determining how hard to suck. One moment, Makoto was in absolutely bliss, enjoying the feeling of Haru’s cheeks pressing against him, and the next he had to bite his lip to keep from crying out in pain. Then there was the problem with Haru’s teeth; he used them. Not a gentle scrape or nip to elicit that wonderful edge between pleasure and pain but a raking sensation that brought tears to Makoto’s eyes. And the amount of saliva made Makoto shift uncomfortably.

Through it all, Makoto encouraged Haru with moans of pleasure, sighing his name when something felt good. Compared to Sousuke’s methodic blowjobs, Haru had a long way to go before he was close to that skill. But there was no equivalence between the heart pounding, skin tingling sensations Haru’s enthusiastic inexperience created and the satisfactory orgasms Sousuke gave him.

After quite a bit of coaching, Makoto was finally able to reach orgasm – though not as mind blowing as he had always imagined. Content, but not satisfied, Makoto curled up with Haru nestled safely in his arms.

“Makoto?” The unspoken question sat heavy in the room, Haru tensely waiting for the verdict.

“Hmmmm,” Makoto nuzzled the back of Haru’s neck, leaving soft butterfly kisses as he sought to relax his new lover, “best I’ve ever had.”

Haru snorted into his pillow but relaxed against Makoto. His breathing began to even out as their fingers entwined together. Makoto’s heart soared.

“Liar,” Haru’s voice was sleep-heavy and soft; without any bite.

“Not true! I mean, maybe there were some really bad parts but,” Makoto tucked his chin against Haru’s shoulder and murmured into his ear, “being with you, like this, is everything I’ve always wanted.”

“Practice,” Haru murmured against Makoto’s arm. “Lots of practice.”

Laughing happily, Makoto closed his eyes and let Haru’s breathing lull him into a peaceful sleep.


End file.
